


giving up the gun

by threewhitehorses



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-24
Updated: 2013-03-24
Packaged: 2017-12-06 06:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/732692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threewhitehorses/pseuds/threewhitehorses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which Louis and Liam work for MI-5, Harry, Zayn, and Niall are male models at London fashion week, and Nick Grimshaw is a crazy animal rights activist.</p><p>Or, a sorta kinda not really miss congeniality!AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	giving up the gun

**Author's Note:**

> I literally don't know anything about MI5 or London fashion week so I apologize if this makes zero sense. I'm warning you now, don't take this too seriously.

Louis nearly spills his Starbucks reaching for his vibrating phone in his pocket. It’s probably Liam calling to yell at him about being late, but he needed his tea, and last time he used his badge to skip forward in line Paul had put him on filling duty for the whole day.

“Hello?” he breathes into his phone.

“You’re late, Louis.”

“Yeah but, to be fair, the line in Starbucks was mad today. It was out of my hands, Liam.” he says defensively.

“Has it ever occurred to you that you could wake up earlier?” Liam says, his voice a mix of exasperated and fond.

Louis scoffs. “And risk my beauty sleep? Not a chance, Li.”

“Just get here, okay? Big day today.” Liam says.

“Love you too, babe.” Louis says with a grin, getting a dirty look from someone on the street. He winks at them.

“Bye, Louis.”

*

“Tomlinson, you’re late.” Paul says, signalling him into his office.

“So I've heard.” he replies, following Paul and sitting on the chair opposite him. “Liam also said something about a big day?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, actually.” Paul starts. “ We've got an undercover assignment for you.”

“Paul. Have I ever told you I love you?” Louis says.

“You haven’t even heard what it is yet, Louis.”

“Well, what is it then? Drug bust?” Louis says, smiling. An undercover assignment in the MI-5 is a big deal. He silently thanks whatever higher power granted him this one. Probably Liam.

“Er, actually. How do you feel about London Fashion Week?” Paul asks.

Louis pauses to take a sip of his tea, raising an eyebrow. “Um, it’s great? Is this because of the suspenders I wore the other day? Because, yeah, they looked good, but not fashion week worthy by any means.”

“Yesterday, fifteen thousand pounds worth of clothes went missing from their collection-”

“So, like, a t-shirt.”

“-which just doesn't happen at a high security event like that. So whoever is behind is most likely someone working there." Paul continues, ignoring him. "Which is where you come in. We need you to find out who’s responsible for it, and make sure it doesn't happen again.”

“So what exactly do I have to pretend to do?” Louis asks. “Because I will definitely fuck up at it and ruin fashion week, for like, ever.”

“Obviously we’re not sticking you in a job with high responsibilities, but we have reason to believe it was one of the male models who did it, so we need you in with them in order to find out who. You don’t have to do much, just walk one time, and -”

Louis almost chokes on his tea. “Wait, what? Did you just say walk? As in down the runway?”

“One time, Louis. People might get a bit suspicious of a model who never models.” Paul says.

Louis stares at Paul in disbelief.

“Are you mad? Have you seen me? I'm like five feet tall, and alright, maybe I have a pretty nice ass, but that’s pretty much all I’ve got going for me. I can’t walk at London Fashion Week, Paul.” He is maybe freaking out, a bit.

“Well, you’re going to have to, unless you suggest we pick someone else.”

Louis takes a sip of his tea.

Paul sighs. “Look Louis, I’m not trying to turn this into a goddamn self esteem session, but you’re one of the youngest, best looking lads we have. We need you. How hard can it be to walk a runway, anyways?”

Louis’ jaw drops. “God, it’s like you’ve never seen America’s Next Top Model. _Extremely hard_ , Paul.”

“Look, are you going to do it or not?” Paul asks.

“Fine. But you owe me.”

“How did me giving you a highly respected assignment turn into me owing you?” Paul says.

Louis grins. “It happens.”

*

“You know, I always thought about being a model. But then again, I think everyone has. What about you?”

“Uh,” Liam pants. “Never occurred to me.”

Louis had gone to join Liam in training immediately after his meeting, and now they’re running on adjacent treadmills. Louis probably should have bantered with Paul for a bit longer, because his legs are killing already.

“Why didn’t they pick you for this, anyway? You’d probably be way better than me.” Louis asks, struggling to keep his pace.

“You know, for someone as vain as you, you don’t give yourself much credit, Lou.” Liam says. “You just said yourself you’ve already thought about being a model.”

“Yeah, but. I’ve also thought about being a singer. And an actor. Doesn’t mean I’m about to go on Broadway.” Louis states, breathing heavily.

“I bet you could, if you really wanted. You’re brilliant, Louis.” says Liam.

The thing is, Liam has a way of being completely honest and kind without even realizing it. It’s just who he is. It kind of makes Louis want to punch him and hug him, at the same time.

“Let’s just hope you’re right, yeah?” Louis says, grinning.

“I always am, aren’t I?”

He is, and it’s just another thing that makes Louis want to hit him in the face and also never let him go.

*

That night, before his shower, Louis spends an embarrassing amount of time staring at himself in the mirror. He knows he’s not ugly, by any means, and he certainly isn’t fat, but.

He stomach could definitely be flatter, and his thighs smaller, and he could be about a foot taller.

If Liam was here, he’d probably look at him with those puppy eyes and tell him to stop being so hard on himself, but it’s pretty difficult to have any self confidence left after looking at drop dead gorgeous models for the past hour and comparing yourself.

You’re not there to look pretty, he mentally reprimands himself. You’re there to do your fucking job. Man up, Tomlinson.

And if he chooses to skip the piece of leftover cake in favour of some strawberries, and spends a little extra time moisturizing before bed, no one has to know.

*

“Louis, wake up.”

“Whassit?” he mumbles, shoving his face into the pillow.

“Time to get up.”

Louis looks up, squinting. “How many times do I have to remind you that your key is for emergencies only?”

“This _is_ an emergency,” Liam says. “You could’ve been late.”

Louis groans. “Is that the only reason you’re here? Because a call would’ve worked just fine.”

“No, it wouldn’t. Also, I had to give you these.” Liam says, holding up a pair of sunglasses. “There’s a tiny camera on these, so I’ll be seeing and hearing what you are at all times.”

“You want me to wear those inside?” asks Louis. “Are you trying to make me look like a proper douche?”

Liam sighs. “Just stick them on your shirt or something. Make sure the camera’s facing outwards, though.”

“Uh, thanks for the advice, Liam.” Louis says sarcastically.

Liam looks at him for a long moment. “I’m just worried about you, Lou.”

“Worried? Not even you, Liam Payne, could be worried about this.” Louis says. “It’s fashion week, for fucks sake. What’s going to happen, the clothes going to attack me?”

“I don’t know, those models look like they can get pretty vicious.” Liam replies, but he’s smiling.

“Seriously though, Lou.” he continues. “Be careful out there, yeah?”

“Always am.” Louis says, grinning.

Liam snorts.

*

It’s only ten a.m., and Louis has seen more hot guys than he ever has in his entire life. He takes back every doubt he ever had about this assignment. This is the best mission ever.

_liam, tell paul i love him_

He texts, and then receives minutes later,

**get 2 work**

“Excuse me, are you Louis Thompson?” someone asks using his undercover name, causing him to look up.

“That’s me,” he grins at the lady. “And you are?”

“Oh, I’m Lou Teasdale. I’m supposed to, er, teach you how to walk?” she says.

“Oh, sick. I was wondering how I was going to learn that.” he replies.

“Uh, yeah. The thing is, I’m more of a hair and makeup artist. We don’t really have teachers for that, because, well, everyone already knows how to walk.”

“Oh.” he says. Liam did not tell him this.

“But, I was thinking I could get one of the other models to teach you?” she says quickly. “I know this one guy, Harry Styles, and he really is the sweetest lad. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to help you.”

“Wait, The Harry Styles?” Louis had come across this guy in his research the other day. He was like, the best of the best. Also unbelievably attractive.

Lou laughs. “I dunno how he’ll feel about that name, but sure. I’ll call him now.”

Louis stands there for a bit while she talks on the phone. He considers sending Liam a text freaking out about meeting Harry Styles, but he figures Liam already knows what he’s feeling, because he can see what’s happening and he knows Louis all too well.

“He said he’d love to! He’ll meet you over at the runway over there,” she says, pointing. “He’s just finishing up rehearsals now.”

“Great,” Louis grins. “Cheers, Lou!”

“Good luck, then.” She says, smiling and still looking a bit confused.

Louis makes his way over to the runway, watching as the models strut down. He seriously thinks he might be drooling, at one point.

Then the rehearsals finish, and Louis makes his way backstage, looking for Harry. It’s not long before he spots a head of curly hair, chatting with a pretty makeup girl.

Louis has a scary thought that Harry might be straight, but then Harry looks at him and the look he gives him tells him otherwise. He thinks his entire body may have shivered under his gaze. Hell, Liam’s probably back at MI-5 headquarters shivering a bit himself.

“You’re Harry right?” Louis says, walking closer to him.

“Yeah, are you Louis?” Harry says.

Oh god, even his voice is sexy. Louis is done for.

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“I’m supposed to teach you to walk, yeah?” Harry asks and he nods. “Do you mind if I ask why you’re modeling at fashion week if you can’t walk?”

Okay, ouch.

“Er, long story.” Louis says, trying to get him to laugh.

Harry just stares at him.

“Harry!” someone shouts, and Louis breathes a sigh of relief.

“Hiya, Zayn.” Harry says to a guy just as attractive as him. Or more. Louis can’t decide.

“Who’s this?” Zayn asks, looking at him.

“I’m Louis.” he says, sticking out his hand. Maybe he can make a better impression on this guy than Harry.

“Zayn.” he says, smiling and shaking his hand.

Harry lights up suddenly. “Hey, Zayn, you can teach Louis here how to walk right? I was supposed to, but um, something’s just come up.”

Louis fights the urge to roll his eyes. He’s not seen Harry look at his phone once since he’s been with him.

“Er, sure thing!” Zayn says, smiling at him after shooting Harry a weird look.

“Cheers, lads.” Harry says, walking away.

“Um.” says Zayn. “We can practice in that hallway over there, if you want?”

“Sounds great.” he says, grinning up at Zayn.

They walk over to the empty hallway, and it’s awkward, until Zayn says,

“Sorry about him, by the way. He’s not usually that rude, I don’t know what his problem is.”

Louis is reminded of Lou calling Harry sweet earlier. So Harry is nice to everyone but him. That thought is hardly reassuring.

“No worries, mate.” says Louis.

“Let’s teach you how to strut, then.” Zayn says, winking.

*

Two hours later, and him and Zayn are practically best friends. Also, he never wants to walk again.

“Hey, mate, where are you staying anyway?” asks Zayn.

“Um.” he says, because he honestly has no clue.

Zayn just laughs. “You should come and stay at the hotel with me and the rest of the lads.”

“Yeah, I’d love to.” Louis says, and thinks that back at HQ, Liam must be sat there incredibly proud of him.

“Sick. Me and my mate were going to go to lunch around now, you want to come along?” says Zayn.

Louis’ stomach grumbles in appreciation.

“I’ll take that as a yes, then.” Zayn says, fighting a grin.

*

“No Harry?” a blonde lad asks when Louis and Zayn sit down next to him at the restaurant.

“Nah, I texted him, but he said he was busy with Nick.” Zayn says.

“Grimshaw?”

“That’s the one.” says Zayn.

“Is this his replacement?” he asks, motioning to Louis.

“Oh, this is Loueh.” Zayn says exaggeratedly. “He’s a new model.”

“Sick, I’m Niall.” he says. “I hope you don’t mind, but I ordered already. I’m fucking starving.”

“I hear you, mate.” Louis says.

When the waiter comes over, Zayn orders a salad and Louis gapes at him. Niall takes one look at Louis and bursts out laughing.

“Oh fuck off, everyone. Excuse me for watching my weight when I’m going to be walking London Fashion Week in a few days.” Zayn scowls.

“Fuck that, eh, Louis? Niall needs food.” Niall says, laughing.

Louis nods and laughs in agreement, but doesn’t finish his burger when it comes.

*

After lunch, he follows Niall and Zayn back to the hotel in his car. Louis has never been more grateful for MI-5’s funds when they pull up to the hotel. It’s easily the poshest place he’s ever stayed in his life.

“Is this place for real?” he says, taking in the lobby.

Niall laughs. “I like you, mate.”

“Thanks, mate.” Louis says. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

It’s true. He hasn’t met anyone so far that seemed even slightly suspicious. Even Harry seemed mostly harmless, albeit rude.

By the time Louis makes it to his room, he’s completely wiped. He calls his mum, and then Liam, and then room service. Liam had told him on the phone that he should walk around the hotel for a bit and look out for anything suspicious, so after he finishes eating, he grabs his key and goes exploring. It seems like everyone’s in their rooms though, because it’s mostly empty everywhere he looks.

He pulls out his phone and sends a quick text to Liam.

_pretty quiet here. you alright?_

He walks absently back to his room, staring at his phone waiting for a response, when he feels someone bump into him.

“You really don’t know how to walk, do you?” Harry says, smirking.

Louis wonders what he did to make the universe so mad at him. He really should have given money to that homeless man earlier today.

“Shit, I’m sorry. Wasn’t looking where I was going.” says Louis.

“Just don’t do that on the runway, yeah?” says Harry.

Louis laughs nervously. “I’ll try.”

“See you round.” Harry says, and walks away without waiting for a response. Louis stands there for a minute longer wondering why he always feels so stupid around Harry Styles.

*

The next day, Louis wakes up to his phone vibrating.

“Hello?” he mumbles.

“Louis, wake up. Something’s happened.” It’s Liam. No surprises there.

“What?” he asks.

“All the lights on one of the runways blew up at the same time before rehearsals this morning. This is no accident. Someone’s sabotaging the whole thing on purpose.”

“Shit, Li.” says Louis, sitting up in bed and rubbing his hand over his face. “This is serious.”

“You’re telling me. Paul’s going mad. The stakes just got so much higher, Lou. You have to find out who’s behind this.”

“So no pressure then.” Louis says weakly. Fuck, it’s not even 7 a.m.

“And don’t forget to be careful, Lou.” Liam says.

“I will, mum.” Louis sighs. “Better get up now. Talk to you later, yeah?”

“Yeah,” says Liam. “Love you.”

He throws himself down on his bed, pulling the covers over his face.

“Love you too, Li.”

*

Louis decides to go down to the hotel restaurant for breakfast. It takes him awhile to find, because this hotel is bloody huge, but when he does find the place, he sees Zayn and Niall sat at a table already. He grabs some food from the buffet, and goes over to join them.

“What’s happening, lads?” he asks, pulling up a chair.

“Just talking about the incident this morning. I guess you haven’t heard yet.” says Zayn.

“No, what happened?” Louis lies.

“Apparently, before Harry’s rehearsals this morning, all the lights on the runway just blew up at the exact same time. Creepy, yeah?” says Niall.

“It’s scary, because Harry could have been on that runway if the lights had chosen to explode a few hours later.” Zayn says.

“You think the lights all conspired to explode at the same time?” says Niall. “If you link this with the missing clothes from earlier this week, it’s all just a bit suspicious, don’t you think?”

“You think there’s someone behind all this?” Louis asks. He really hopes Liam is listening. Actually, who is he kidding. Liam is listening.

“Someone, someones. It’s got to be more than one person, yeah?” says Niall.

“But what group of people would want to fuck shit up at Fashion Week for no reason?” Louis asks slowly, stuffing some eggs into his mouth.

“That’s the question, innit.” says Niall.

Louis has a hard time thinking about anything else all day.

*

“We have rehearsals now, but you can come with.” Zayn says.

“Alright,” Louis agrees, getting up from the table and wiping the crumbs off his clothes.

“What show are you walking for, anyways?” asks Niall.

“Uh, it’s just a small one. I just have rehearsals the day before, no big deal.”

“Lucky.” says Zayn. “We’ve been rehearsing for ages.”

Louis goes to say something, but is interrupted by the arrival of another man.

“What’s good, lads?” the man asks.

“Alright, Greg?” says Niall.

“Yeah, happy days. Who’s this, then?” he asks, looking at Louis.

“This is Louis Thompson,” Zayn says. “Louis, this is Greg James.”

Greg smiles at him and Louis wants to cry at how fucking attractive everyone here is. Admittedly, he’s surrounded by models, but still.

“You guys headed to rehearsals, then?” asks Greg.

“Yep.” says Niall.

“Great. I’ll tag along then, if you don’t mind.” Greg says, smiling at him.

Louis thinks he can live with it.

*

_why is everyone here so pretty :( :( :((((_

**ur at fashun week, thats why. any suspects yet?**

_no, but there’s gonna be a party tonight perfect right?_

**go get em**

God, if Liam wasn’t so endearing Louis has no clue how he would put up with his cheesy ass encouragements.

*

“Pints! Needs more pints!” Niall shouts, and runs away cackling.

“How many pints can one lad drink?” Louis asks doubtfully.

Zayn laughs. “I think that’s a question Niall has devoted his entire life finding the answer to.”

They’re at an exclusive club downtown, to celebrate the beginning of fashion week tomorrow. Louis tries not to worry that he still has no suspects, and maybe takes a few more shots than he should because of it.

“Harry! Where have you been, mate?” Zayn shouts suddenly.

Oh god. Oh god no.

“I know, haven’t seen you in ages! I’ve just been, uh, with Nick mostly.” Harry says, smiling. He’s clearly plastered.

“Ooooh! Styles got himself a boyfriend?” Zayn says.

“Noo! We’re just, you know, really good friends, basically.” Harry says, blushing. “Hey, it’s Louis!”

“It’s me!” Louis replies, drowning another shot.

“Are you wearing sunglasses on your shirt in the club?” Harry slurs.

“Er,”

It’s official. The universe has a personal vendetta against Louis Tomlinson.

“Pssh. You think you’re so great,” Harry slurs. “You just waltz in here with no experience, whatsoever, with that dumb _quiff_ , and that _ass_ , and you -”

“Pints!” Niall is back. “I’m like the Oprah of pints. One for you, one for you, oh hey Harry. Want a pint?”

Louis is possibly speechless.

“I don’t think Harry needs any more to drink, Niall.” says Zayn.

“Sick! More for me!” Niall says, grinning and beginning to chug.

“Heyyyyy.” says Harry. “I wanted that.”

“Oops.” Niall burps.

Louis’ phone vibrates.

wht is happenin i cant see anything y are u with oprah

“Who’s Liam?” Zayn asks, peering over at his phone.

Shit, shit, shit. “No one.”

Harry scoffs. “Hey, I think Nick’s calling me.”

Everyone watches as Harry hides his phone behind his hands for a suspicious amount of time then lifts it up to his ear.

“Are you here? Where are you? Nick, nick. Can’t hear. Are you laughing at me? Oh. Okay, see ya.”

Everyone stares.

“Nick's coming.” Harry slurs, putting his phone back in his pocket.

Louis takes another shot.

*

“And then I put my ear against the door, and I hear someone scream! Turns out she was recording me the whole time through the peephole. Like, I know I’m pretty, but who does that?”

“I hear ya.” Louis says. He is maybe a bit drunk.

“Thanks, Lou.” says Zayn.

“Grimmy!” Harry shouts, looking up from his phone where he’d been sulking.

“Lads. Pleasure to see you, as always. And who’s this handsome bloke?” he says, looking at Louis.

“M’ names Louis, for your info.” Louis laughs, unsure of what’s so funny but leaning forward on the bar and giggling anyway.

“Nick,” Harry whines. “I wanna dance.”

“Course, curly.” says Nick. “Let’s go.”

“Curly.” Louis scoffs after they leave. “What a stupid nickname.”

“I dunno. I kind of like it. He is rather curly.” says Niall.

“Rather, yes, but.” says Louis.

“Having a good time, lads?”

Louis looks up. Oh, yes.

“Greg!” he shouts. “Would be a lot better if you danced with me.”

Greg smiles. “Can’t refuse that, can I?”

“You better not.” Louis says, giving him his best smile. Guaranteed success, that smile.

They make their way onto the dancefloor, Greg’s steady hand on his hip guiding him.

“Hey, isn’t that Nick and Harry?” Greg asks.

Louis turns his head, and sure enough, there’s Harry. Staring straight at him. Grinding on Nick.

Where does it end? Louis wonders.

“Who cares? Not me!” shouts Louis. “C’mon, let’s dance!”

It turns into a bit of a game then, Harry dancing with Nick and Louis dancing with Greg, while staring at each other the whole time. Greg is a pretty good dancer, Louis thinks. If he had never met Harry, he probably would be going home with Greg tonight. If only Harry Styles hadn't ruined all other men for him. Just then, Nick's hands slide down to Harry's ass, and Louis fumes. He quickly grabs Greg's hands and lead them to his bum, never one to be outdone.

This could last all night, he thinks. Something must be done.

“Kiss me.” he says to Greg.

“Hm?”

“Oh, for fucks sake.” says Louis, turning around and planting his lips on Greg’s.

He can practically feel Harry’s eyes piercing into his back, and it makes him feel hot all over. Which maybe isn’t a good thing, when he’s already sweaty from dancing in between a huge crowd of people. He might be overheating, if that’s a thing.

“I think I need some water.” he says to Greg, and pushes his way to the bar before he can reply.

“Louis!” he hears Zayn shout. “Ready to leave?”

“Yeah, just need some water first.” he says.

“Yeah, you can get that later. Come on.”

“No, really, I,”

“Louis Thompson!” shouts Harry from behind him.

God, that name sounds so dumb. He should have begged Paul harder for Bond.

“Can I help you, Harold?” he says, annoyed.

“Okay, first of all, that’s not even my name. And yes,”

“Not to interrupt this lovely moment, but we’ve got to go. Like now.” Zayn says. “You coming with, Harry?”

“You better bloody believe I’m coming with!” Harry says. “I’ve got to talk to you, Louis.”

“Well, it can wait.” says Zayn before Louis can comment. “Come on.”

“What’s the rush anyways?” he asks Zayn as they exit the club.

“Um. Niall may have been caught masturbating in the toilets?”

Harry lets out a bark of laughter, then slaps his hand over his mouth.

“Niall what?” Louis asks incredulously. He may have seriously underestimated male models.

Zayn doesn’t have to answer his question, because the man himself is standing outside the club.

“Listen mate, we all have needs, yeah, but couldn’t you have at least waited till we got back to the hotel?” asks Louis.

“Not you too!” Niall says. “I was in the toilets, yeah, but I wasn’t masturbating, I swear! I just snuck in some chicken nuggets, and I guess I was pretty vocal about it, because someone walked in and thought I was jacking off! Load of cunts.”

“Niall, they said you were pounding on the wall shouting ‘wey hey’ and ‘up the lads’ and ‘that’s the craic’.” says Zayn.

“Have you tried chicken nuggets, Zayn? No, because you don’t eat. You wouldn’t understand my love for nuggets. Nobody understands.”

“I understand, Niall.” Harry says, quite seriously.

Louis just shakes his head, wrapping his arms around himself to fight the cold.

“Hey, cab’s here.” says Zayn, and Louis looks up. “I call shotgun.”

Niall, Louis, and Harry climb into the backseat, squished together. It is just Louis’ luck that he gets the middle seat.

“Hey Niall?” Harry says over Louis.

“Yeah?”

“Got any nuggets left?” asks Harry.

“I wish, mate. I wish.” says Niall sadly.

“Man.” says Harry, then looks at Louis. “Hey, you’re Louis.”

“You’re Harry. Also drunk.”

“Heyyy, you’re drunk too.”

“No, I’m Louis.”

They giggle.

“You’re pretty.” says Harry.

“Lou - ee. Not pretty.”

“Yes pretty.” insists Harry.

“Takes one to know one.” Louis says, quite proud of himself.

Harry stares at him for a moment, like he’s trying to figure out if he’s being complimented or insulted. Then after a minute of deliberating, he grins.

Louis is unsure how it happens, but the next thing he knows Harry is halfway over him and his mouth is all over his own. He kisses back eagerly, and rests his hands on Harry’s back. He has no idea how they went from 0 to 60 in a matter of seconds, but he isn't complaining. Harry is fit, alright.

He slowly lowers his hands down Harry's back, grabbing at his ass.

“Oh, fuck,” Harry moans. “Wanna suck you, can I suck you?”

Louis groans. “Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah, wanna,” Harry pants into his mouth.

Louis is vaguely aware of Niall next to him, and Zayn in the front seat. And the taxi driver.

“Or,” Louis mumbles. “Could fuck you,”

He feels Harry shudder in his arms.

“Oi! Keep it PG-13, would ya?” Niall says.

“Oh, like you’re one to talk, Niall.” Zayn says from the front seat.

“I wasn’t masturbating! I don’t know what you want me to say!”

“Uh, you’re here.” someone says.

Oh, the taxi driver.

“Thanks, mate.” Zayn says, handing him some money.

They stumble out of the cab and fall a few times on their way inside the hotel. Louis has never been more grateful for Harry’s strong hand holding his.

“Where’s your room?” he asks Harry.

“Uh, high. Top floor, I think.” mumbles Harry.

“Okay,” Louis breathes. “Got your key?”

Harry’s brow furrows. He reaches into his pocket, and sure enough,

“Yep.” he says, smiling widely.

“We need to get up somehow,” says Louis. “Any ideas?”

Harry looks genuinely deep in thought for a minute, and then lights up. “Usually, I elevate.”

Louis scolds himself for not thinking of that first. “Perfect. Let’s go.”

Louis drags Harry by his hand to the elevators, and pushes the button for the top floor. As soon as the doors shut, Harry is all over him.

“Did you really mean it?” mumbles Harry. He has his hands pinned on either side of Louis head, trapping him against the wall.

“Mean what?” Louis pants from underneath Harry.

“You know,” says Harry in between wet kisses. “About fucking me.”

Louis is prevented from answering though, because just then the elevator dings open and a old couple walks in.

“Uh.” Louis coughs, pushing Harry away from him.

Harry at least has the decency to blush bright red, but doesn’t stop himself from staring hungrily at Louis for the rest of the elevator ride.

When they finally make it to Harry’s room, Louis discovers he really, really needs to pee.

“Harry. Need to piss.”

“Oh. Bathroom’s there.” Harry says, pointing.

Louis thanks him, and goes into the bathroom to relieve himself. He only falls twice, so he’s pretty proud of himself for that. By the time he’s finished and he walks back into the bedroom, he finds Harry passed out on his bed.

“Oh.” he says, and somehow makes it back to his own room, stumbling. Before he falls asleep, he checks his phone, finding just one text from Liam.

**evrything is happening so muchhh**

*

The next morning, Louis wakes up and looks at the clock, seeing that it’s six a.m.

 _Nope_ , he thinks, and goes back to sleep.

*

The next time he wakes up, someone is knocking on his door.

“Louis!” the voice calls.

Louis groans.

“Open the door, you twat! It’s Liam!”

“Liam?” he asks groggily.

“Yes! Now open the door, idiot!”

Louis literally rolls off the bed, wrapped up in his blanket, and goes to open the door.

“Morning, sunshine.” he says.

“We have to talk.” says Liam.

“Oh no. Could you at least wait until I’m not hungover to break up with me?”

Liam rolls his eyes. “Something happened at the opening this morning, which you missed, by the way.”

Now it’s Louis’ turn to roll his eyes.

“Someone hacked into the system and put this message up on the big screen behind the runway.” Liam continues, handing him a piece of paper.

The paper contains four words.

**THINK ON YOUR SINS.**

“Fuck.” says Louis. This is the worst morning after ever.

“Please tell me you have some suspects.” replies Liam.

“Er,” Louis says. “There is this one guy I got weird vibes from.”

“Great! Who is it?” asks Liam.

“Nick Grimshaw?” Louis says, making it sound more like a question than anything else.

“You mean Harry’s boyfriend?” asks Liam, furrowing his brows. It’s a classic look on Liam.

Louis laughs, a bit too loudly. “Yeah right. Nick wishes, probably.”

“Do you think it’s possible you get weird vibes from him because you’re jealous?” Liam says.

Louis narrows his eyes. “Why are you even here? You could’ve just called, you’re going to get us caught.”

“Meanie.” Liam says. Louis rolls his eyes, and then cringes. All this eye rolling really isn’t helping his headache. “I had to give you this.”

Louis looks at what he’s holding, a small black rectangular device.

“What is it?” he asks.

“Distress signal. Paul says the message this morning counts as a threat, so you need one of these now. Just flick this switch and you’ll get all the backup you need.”

“Is this the part where you tell me to be careful?” Louis asks.

Liam grins sheepishly. “Seriously though, Lou,”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” says Louis. “Now get out of here. I’m going back to sleep.”

But after Liam leaves, he finds himself bent over the toilet instead of sleeping like he’d said. He’s never drinking again, he swears. Until after his hangover passes, anyways. After he’s finished being sick, he checks his phone and finds a text from Niall.

**mate ! got my 1st show today,can come if ya wanna !**

Louis supposes he has to face everyone eventually, so he decides to head over and watch. He shoves a beanie and his sunglasses on and exits the relative peace and quiet of his room.

*

“Hey,” he says in a low voice, slipping in beside Zayn near the back of the runway.

Zayn grunts.

Zayn, he guesses, is not a morning person.

“If I were Niall and had to walk with a hangover, I think I might’ve died.” Louis says after he sees Niall walk.

Zayn snorts. “Niall is immune to hangovers, mate. He’s Irish.”

Louis’ eyes go wide.

“That’s the dream.” he replies, in awe.

After the show, they go backstage to congratulate Niall, and he bursts into laughter when he sees Louis.

“Last night was the craic, innit?” he says. “Do you remember everything?”

Louis shudders. “Sadly.”

Niall cracks up even more, looking behind Louis at something.

“What about you?” Niall asks to whoever’s behind Louis. “Do you remember everything?”

Louis turns around, and finds himself face to face with Harry Styles.

Harry narrows his eyes at Louis. “I think my subconscious repressed it, actually.”

“Ouch.” Louis says. “Gonna run away now, Styles?”

“Excuse me?” says Harry.

“It’s just, you have a habit of being rude to me and then running away before I can respond. It’s becoming quite an issue.”

“How am I being rude?” asks Harry.

“Uh, let’s see.” says Louis. “God, I don’t even know where to begin,”

“Lads.” Niall interrupts. “Can’t we all just get along?”

“Don’t need to.” replies Louis. “Because I’m leaving now. Bye, everyone.”

“What’s his problem?” he hears Harry say as he walks away and has a hard time resisting the urge to go back there and knock him out.

*

The next day, Louis sleeps in because he doesn’t have rehearsals until later. Rehearsals. For his fashion show. That he has to walk. The next day. In front hundreds of extremely important people.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” he says to his wall.

He receives a text a few seconds later.

**can u leave ur sunglasses out of the bathroom this timee dont wanna see thatttt**

Louis sighs, and walks down to where his runway is. It’s only a twenty minute walk from his hotel, and he forces himself not to take the long way to avoid rehearsals. He could really use a dumb encouragement from Liam right about now, but he doesn’t have any texts and there’s no way in hell he’s breaking down and asking Liam for one.

“Louis?” he hears someone say and he looks up from his phone, seeing a familiar face.

“Lou!” he says. “Are you going to do my makeup?”

She laughs. “Not for rehearsals, love. But I’m going to help you with your clothes.”

“Oh, good.” Louis says seriously. “I’ve always struggled with those.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you have me then.” she says, smiling.

He follows her backstage, where he sees more clothes than he ever has in his life.

“This is yours,” Lou says, pointing at an outfit hanging up on the rack.

Louis takes it in. It could be worse, he supposes. Actually, he thinks he would actually wear it in real life, if he could. It’s just a jumper with a collared shirt underneath, and white trousers. The small part of him that was expecting something Lady Gaga-esque is slightly disappointed.

“This is really sick, actually.” he says.

“Yeah, it’s brilliant. Ready to try it on?”

“What, right here?” he asks.

“Yeah?” she says, laughing. “You’re going to have to do that at the actual show, so mind as well get used to it.”

Louis cringes, and takes off his clothes. He tries, and fails, not to think of all the bodies she must be used to seeing compared to his.

The jumper and shirt fit, but the trousers are too long, and Louis feels like crying.

“No worries, love.” says Lou. “We’ll just get these shortened and have them ready by tomorrow.”

Louis thanks her, and waits backstage for his cue to walk. Surprisingly, he doesn’t get any weird looks from any of the other models, and gets a small confidence boost from that. When it’s his turn to walk, he steps out on the runway, trying to think of everything Zayn taught him and reminding himself not to fall over and over again.

There’s a few people watching in the chairs, but they’re only there to tell him what to do. The second time he walks down, he spots Zayn and Niall in one of the rows and resists the urge to grin at them as if to say ‘Look, I’m doing it!’.

After rehearsals finish, Louis hands his clothes back to Lou with a grin.

“Were you watching? I only tripped once! And I don’t think anyone even noticed!” he says excitedly.

“I was busy backstage so I couldn’t, but that’s great, Louis!” she replies, smiling.

“Lou-eh!” he hears Zayn shout from behind him. “You smashed it, mate!”

Louis allows himself to be pulled into a group hug with Zayn and Niall.

“We’ve got to celebrate, yeah?” Niall says. “Round of FIFA in my room?”

Louis agrees, and they walk back to the hotel, linking arms and giggling at nothing in particular. It’s the best he’s felt in ages. He thinks if this whole secret agent thing doesn’t work out, he could always go into male modeling. It’s a right laugh.

He has a fleeting thought that he probably should be meeting more people and observing them instead of hanging out with Zayn and Niall, but he pushes it away almost immediately. He tells himself he has plenty of time for that. It’s only Tuesday, after all.

“Should I text Harry?” asks Niall back at the hotel. “He’s never one to turn down a round of FIFA.”

“He might, if he knows I’m here.” says Louis.

“You know, I don’t get it.” says Niall. “He’s usually the nicest guy. I dunno what he’s got against you, honestly.”

Zayn sniggers.

“What?” Niall and Louis ask at the same time.

Zayn laughs again. “It’s obvious, innit?”

“What is?” Louis asks, getting annoyed now. If there’s something about him that makes people dislike him, he wants to know what it is.

“Harry’s got himself a crush, obviously.”

Louis laughs lowly. “You’re kidding.”

“Trust me, mate.” Zayn says. “I know him. This is classic Harry. Textbook stuff, really. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed, Niall.”

“You know, know that you mention it,” says Niall.

“That is the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard.” Louis interrupts. “There’s no way.”

“Just a theory, mate.” Zayn says. “No need to get offended.”

Niall coughs. “So am I texting him, or not?”

“Yeah, do it.” Louis says suddenly. “And when he says no, it’ll be obvious that he doesn’t like me.”

*

Two minutes later, and Niall is announcing that he has a text.

“And the verdict is,” Niall says, pausing for effect. “Yes!”

“I don’t believe you.” Louis says quickly. “Show me the text.”

Niall hands over his phone, and sure enough,

**I’d love to, be there in a bit .x**

“Why does he put a full stop before his x?” Louis asks. “What a dumb as hell thing to do.”

“Who cares?” Niall says gleefully. “We were right! Pay up, Lou!”

“Pay up? We weren’t betting anything!” says Louis incredulously.

“Oh.” says Niall. “We should have.”

Louis begins to reply, but is interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Already?” he asks in disbelief. “How is that even possible?”

Niall gets up to open the door, and Harry walks in smiling widely and holding beer.

Louis feels himself go hot all over when he looks at Harry. This is becoming a bit of an issue for him. How does Harry even manage to look like he just walked off the runway wearing a t-shirt and skinny jeans? The world is a cruel, sad place.

“I’m in love with you,” Niall says, grabbing the beer. “You’re my favourite.”

Harry grins. “Thanks, mate. Alright, everybody?”

“Yeah, yourself?” says Zayn.

“Pretty good. yeah.” Harry says. “What are the teams, then? I call Manchester.”

“Uh, sorry mate.” says Louis. “I’ve got them already.”

Harry looks at him for the first time since he’s walked in.

“Well, I guess we’ll have to be on the same team, then.”

Louis swallows his beer and stares at Harry in surprise. “I guess.”

Two and a half hours later, Louis has a bit of a buzz going, and him and Harry are completely owning Niall and Zayn.

“Fancy another round, lads?” Louis asks.

“I think I’ve had enough.” Zayn groans.

“Oh, you guys scared?” Harry teases.

“No, but I’m hungry.” Niall says. “Can I order room service now?”

“Yes, please.” Harry says appreciatively.

Louis is about to ask if they can get pizza, but then he remembers he has his show tomorrow, and stays silent. When the food comes, him and Zayn share a salad and Harry stares at them.

“Don’t tell me Zayn’s corrupted you, Louis! Eat something real.” Harry says.

“Salad is real.” Louis defends. “And I have to walk tomorrow. Can blame a guy for being careful.”

Harry just shakes his head. Louis feels like he should be annoyed, because who is Harry to tell him what he should eat, but at the same time, it’s kind of nice knowing someone cares. Even if that someone can be a bit of an asshole.

“I’m wiped.” Zayn says, after a few more rounds of them being defeated. It’s almost embarrassing how good Harry and Louis are as a team.

“Me too, mate.” replies Niall. “You guys can stay here if you want, but I’m going to sleep.”

“Are you joking? It’s only,” Louis pauses, looking for a clock. “Two. Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” Zayn says. “I’m going to sleep too. Budge over, Niall.”

“Well I’m not tired.” says Louis.

“Me neither.” replies Harry.

“One on one?”

Harry chokes on his beer. Louis rolls his eyes, and tries not to giggle.

“Alright, yeah.” says Harry after he’s breathing again.

They play quietly for a bit, in order to not wake Zayn and Liam, and Louis silently screams every time he scores, making Harry laugh. It’s kind of nice, actually.

They’re pretty evenly matched, and after a few matches Louis is feeling pretty drowsy himself.

“Are you staying here tonight?” he asks Harry.

“Probably, are you?”

Louis considers it for a moment. “Yeah, I guess. I think I’m gonna go to bed now, if we’re finished here.”

“Well, if you’re willing to accept defeat,” Harry says. “Then I guess we’re done.”

“Defeat? I won three out of five games!”

“Night, Lou.” Harry says, grinning and climbing into the bed not currently occupied by Zayn and Niall.

“Um, excuse me?” Louis says. “And where am I supposed to sleep?”

“Not my problem, is it?” Harry says, looking up at him and grinning.

Louis crosses his arms over his chest and Harry giggles at him.

“You’re welcome in here, you know.” Harry says, and then he takes off his shirt. And his trousers.

Louis is one article of clothing away from a panic attack.

“Or,” Louis says. “You could be a gentleman and sleep on the floor, and let me have the bed.”

“Or, you could stop being such a princess and get your ass in here.”

“Oh, that’s it.” Louis says, climbing into bed beside Harry and shoving him over. “If I feel so much as a hand on my bum you’re on the floor.”

Harry laughs. “Please, don’t flatter yourself.”

Louis just turns over, facing away from Harry, and forces himself to stop smiling.

*

Louis wakes up to something vibrating underneath him. Turns out, it’s just a text from Liam.

**i agree with zain and nialls thery**

_what, that a group of people must be behind all this?_

**noo, that harry likes yoouuu**

Louis doesn’t even bother replying to that. He checks the time on his phone. It’s 7, and he needs to be at his show is at 12. Oh, god. He really is going to be sick, this time. He crawls out of bed, careful not to wake Harry which, is not something Louis needs to be thinking about right now. He just makes it to the toilet in time to puke last nights salad out.

“Are you that hung over?” he hears someone say from the door to the bathroom. “You weren’t even that drunk last night.”

“Not hungover.” he says without looking who it is. “Nervous.”

He hears footsteps toward him, and then there’s and hand rubbing his back.

“I used to get so nervous before shows, I would be sick as well. Still happens, sometimes.”

He turns his head, and sees Harry crouched down beside him.

They catch eyes, and then Harry coughs. “Er, I’ll get you some water.”

Harry leaves, and Louis throws up again.

*

“Save me, Lou.” Louis whines. “I’m going to die out there.”

“You’ll be fine, Louis.” she replies calmly.

They’re backstage, and the show has already started. Louis is just waiting for his turn to walk. Also, freaking the fuck out.

He’s a secret agent, for fucks sake. He’s shot people. He should not be shitting himself over walking down a runway, but he is, and there’s not much he can do about it.

*

_is this an appropriate time to use my distress signal?_

**you can do itttt louis just keep on keeping on :)**

*

“Louis, you’re on.”

Oh god.

He steps out on the runway, bright lights blinding him. Why did he ever think he would be able to do this? This is obviously the worst idea of all time. Oh god, people are taking pictures. There is going to be actual documentation of this event.

 _Breathe, Louis_ , he tells himself. He looks into the sea of people watching him, and his eyes focus on someone in the front row. Someone with curly hair and green eyes. Someone that is watching him intently. It probably should make him even more nervous, but for some reason he just feels sort of relieved that’s he’s there. He winks at Harry when he reaches the end of the runway, and then turns round and struts back. And he doesn’t trip once.

That’ll show him who “can’t walk”.

“Louis!” Lou squeals at him once he’s backstage. “You did it!”

“Yeah,” he breathes. “I did, didn’t I?”

“You were perfect, love!” she says.

“Okay, let’s not push it.” he says, grinning. “Just be glad I didn’t fall, yeah?”

Lou just wraps him up in a tight hug, and let’s go when his phone vibrates.

**ur like the little train that couldd :)**

*

“No, no, that’s too obvious. We just need to get them scared, not give the entire thing away. Listen, I’ve got to go. I don’t know, figure something out! Bye.”

Louis holds his breath, leaning up against the wall. He just got off the runway, and he was headed to craft services for some food when he heard someone talking on the phone, and paused to listen. He doesn’t have his sunglasses on him, because he wasn’t allowed them on the runway, so he’d left them in them in his hotel room. That means Liam is getting none of this.

He thinks he literally stops breathing for a second when he hears footsteps coming toward him. He quickly jumps behind the first rack of clothes he sees and hides behind it as he waits for his suspect to walk by. After a minute of holding his breath, none other than Nick Grimshaw walks by.

“Shit.” he whispers.

*

“Liam, listen to me.”

“No, you listen to me, Louis. You can’t be letting your personal life interfere with this, okay?”

Louis sighs. Right after he’d overheard Nick in the hallway, he’d rushed back to the hotel to call Liam. And this is how he’s repaid.

“How many times do I have to tell you, it’s not that?” he says exasperatedly.

“Really? Because it seems like it’s a lot like that to me, Louis.”

“You honestly aren’t convinced after what I overheard? How can you defend that, Liam?”

“I’m not saying he isn’t guilty, Louis. I’m just not entirely sure he is, like you.”

“Yeah, because you weren’t there. You didn’t hear his tone. Trust me, if you heard him, you’d be sure.”

“And who’s fault is it that I didn’t hear him?”

Louis gapes at the phone. “You can’t honestly be blaming me for that. I wasn’t allowed to wear them on the runway!”

“And were you on the runway when it happened?”

“What do you suggest I could’ve done? Left thousands of pounds worth of technology sitting around backstage when things keep being stolen? Fuck off, Liam.” he says, and hangs up.

He has a text from Zayn inviting him out to celebrate, but he ignores it and spends the rest of the day reading over the notes for the mission.

*

**louis im sorrryyy :((**

**louis wake up**

**louis**

**answer your phoneee**

Louis groans, rubbing his eyes and typing out a reply to Liam.

_what do you want ?_

Instead of receiving a text though, his phone vibrates with an incoming call.

“Hello?” he says.

“Louis. It’s happened again.”

“What’s happened?”

“During the Burberry show today, the screen behind the runway had another message on it.”

“Oh god. What is it this time?”

“It said ‘Are humans animals?’”

“Isn’t that a song? Are we humans, or are we-”

“Louis.” Liam interrupts. “This is serious.”

“Wait a minute, Liam. Wait a goddamn minute. You’re telling me that yesterday I overheard Nick Grimshaw talking about something being too obvious and not giving anything away and today a cryptic message shows up? I think you owe me an apology, mate.”

He hears Liam sigh through the phone. “I’m sorry, okay? He’s a definite suspect now. I should have trusted you from the start.”

“Damn right.” Louis grumbles.

“We have people setting up camera’s in his room as we speak, and we’re bugging all his phone calls. This might be it, Lou.”

“Don’t say I never did anything for you, mate.”

*

“Louis! Where were you yesterday, mate?” Zayn asks.

After his phone call with Liam, Louis had gone down to where the incident had taken place, hoping to see Nick and maybe overhear something again. It had turned out that the runway where the message had appeared on was the same one that Harry was rehearsing on now, because Zayn and Niall were sat there watching before he arrived.

“Er, I guess I was just pretty tired after the show. Had myself a bit of an early night.” he lies.

“Have you come to watch Harry’s rehearsals?” Niall asks, raising his brows suggestively.

Louis rolls his eyes. “Or maybe I just came down to talk to my two favourite people.”

Niall just laughs.

*

After rehearsals finish, they all go out to lunch, Harry included.

“So basically, I’m walking down the runway, right,” Harry says, in between bites of his shrimp. “And then all I hear is a bunch of screams, and I think, have my pants fallen or something, but I looked down, and they were still on. So I turn around, and what do I see behind me?”

Louis sighs. Harry has been telling this story for about five minutes. He kind of wishes he never asked in the first place.

“Basically, on the screen behind me, there’s this massive message blown up on there. And you know what it said?”

“No, what?” Louis deadpans.

“It said, uhm,” Harry says, furrowing his brows. “Oh yeah! It said ‘Are humans animals?’”

“What do you reckon it means?” Niall asks, mouth full of food.

Louis watches Harry intently as he swallows his shrimp. “No idea.”

Louis fights the urge not to groan.

“What about you guys? What do you think?” he asks Zayn and Niall.

“I’ve actually been thinking about it a lot,” Zayn says. “I think it’s got to be some animal rights group or something, you know, trying to be all pretentious and risque.”

“Risque?” Liam asks. “Is that even a word?”

“Isn’t the word risky?” Harry says.

Zayn shakes his head. “It’s a word.”

“Lads, lads.” Louis says. “Let the man continue.”

“Thank you, Louis.” Zayn says. “Now, as I was saying, I think they’re probably mad about the whole fur thing, and they’re trying to make a point by doing all this dumb shit.”

“You know, Malik,” Louis says. “You may have a point.”

Zayn smiles at Louis, and Harry looks back and forth between them for a minute with a scowl on his face before saying,

“Or, it could mean, like, you know. Humans are technically mammals. So, if you think about it, basically, it’s asking, who are we? We just don’t know.”

Louis stares at him. “Was that even english?”

“Are you even english?” Harry retorts.

“Are you?” replies Louis.

“I asked first.” says Harry.

“Have you quite finished?”

“Have I,” says Harry. “Hey, where’s Zayn and Niall?”

Louis looks around. They appear to have left at some point, because they’re nowhere to be seen.

“Maybe they thought your theory was so stupid, they just got up and left.”

Harry narrows his eyes. “I wish you’d get up and leave.”

“Well too bad, because I’ve not finished my food yet.”

Louis keeps his eyes locked with Harry’s, taking a bite of his burger.

“Oh, yeah.” he moans dramatically, rolling his eyes back. “Hit’s the spot.”

Harry doesn’t drop his gaze the whole time, leaning his head back and dangling a shrimp above his mouth. He sticks his tongue out, catching it in his mouth.

“Yeah, you like stuffing that in your mouth? You’re practically gagging for it.” Louis says.

Harry chokes on his shrimp, and has to steal Louis’ water to clear his throat.

“You’re a shit, you know that?” he says, once he’s chugged Louis’ entire water.

Harry Styles. A complete menace.

*

**i did some digginggg and it turns out nick grimshaw is into animal writes and all thattt, so zain might be rite**

_it's all adding up, isn't it ?_

**yeah, so u better keep an eye out for himmm, maybe hang out with him and harry for a bittt :)**

_that is literally the worst idea you’ve ever come up with in your young life, payne_

**cmon lou how bad could it beee**

*

As it turns out, pretty bad.

“So, uh.” Louis coughs. “Come here often?”

Liam had texted him later that night informing him that Nick was at the hotel bar, and that he better get down there now, or else.

“You know, I don’t think Harry’s here, if you’re looking for him,” Nick says.

This idea is seeming worse and worse by the minute.

“Er, actually. I just wanted to talk to you?” he says.

“Ohh,” Nick says, smirking now. “I know what this is about.”

Louis makes a small squeaking noise. “You do?”

“Yeah.” Nick says. “How about I just make this less awkward for both of us?”

“Uh,” says Louis. “Okay?”

“Me and Harry aren’t dating. Never were. You’ve got all the permission you need to go seduce him, now.”

“Uh, Louis?” someone says.

“Harry!” Nick says, grinning now. “Perfect timing. Me and Louis were just talking about you, actually.”

This is literally going in the Liam Payne Hall of Fame of terrible ideas.

“Oh?” Harry says, facing Louis. “What about?”

“Nothing.” Louis says quickly. “Actually, I was just leaving.”

“Aw, come on.” Nick whines. “Have a drink, babes.”

“Really, I,” Louis starts to say, but is interrupted by his phone ringing. Saved by the bell.

“Hiya?” he says.

“Louis.” Liam replies, sounding upset. Oh no. “If you leave and miss this opportunity, I will literally drive over there and kill you.”

“Liam!” Louis gasps, enjoying the way Harry’s expression changes drastically with that one word. “That’s a bit drastic, wouldn’t you say?”

“Louis. You are at bar with our number one suspect, and he’s asking you to get drunk with him. There is no way you are leaving that bar.”

Louis sighs. “Alright, alright. Don’t get your knickers in a twist.”

“Bye.”

“See you, babe. Love you.”

Louis grins at Harry and Nick. “Turns out, I can stay.”

*

Louis winces, slamming the glass on the counter.

“Harry. Harry. Where’s Nick?”

“Uh, I think he left.” Harry giggles, clearly well on his way to getting drunk.

“Good.” Louis says, giggling. “He gives me the weirdest vibes. Weird vibes.”

“Heyyyy,” Harry says. “He’s my friend.”

Louis scoffs. “How long have you known him for?”

Harry pouts. “I just met him this week. But he’s so nice.”

“Yeah, because he wants to get in your pants.” Louis mumbles.

Harry’s jaw drops. “No!”

“Maybe,” says Louis.

They’ve been at the hotel bar for a couple hours now, but Nick had only stayed for a bit, and he had been vague and aloof the whole time. Louis could probably have called it a day after he left, but then Harry ordered strawberry daiquiri’s and.

“Why would he want that?” Harry asks.

God, his lips are so deliciously red. Louis could just lean forward a tiny bit, and -

“Lou?”

“What? Oh.” Louis says. “Have you seen yourself, Harold? Who wouldn’t want a piece of that?”

“I could think of a few people.” says Harry moodily.

“Well whoever they are, they’re insane.” replies Louis.

Harry stares. “Yeah, they are.”

Harry’s gaze is starting to get a bit uncomfortable now, so Louis coughs and turns away.

“Uh, we should probably head to bed.” he says. “You’ve got a busy day tomorrow, don’t you?”

“Only the biggest moment of my career.” says Harry. “Not a big deal.”

Louis laughs. It probably should be pathetic how much Harry amuses him, but he chooses not to dwell on it.

“See you, mate.” Louis says, smiling.

“Are we?” Harry says, looking a tiny bit hopeful.

“Are we what?” Louis asks.

“Mates.” Harry says.

“Oh,” Louis says, then he grins. He tries to control it, he really does. “I daresay we are.”

“Alright.” Harry says, smiling even wider. “See you, mate.”

*

Louis, Zayn, and Niall head down to Harry’s fashion show the next day. It’s the last one of the week, and also the biggest.

“How much do you reckon he’s puking right now?” Niall asks as they sit in the chairs by the runway waiting for the show to begin.

Louis is brought back to when he had his own show, just two days ago. God, it feels like a lifetime ago, with all that’s happened. This whole thing has felt like way longer than a week and a couple days. Anyways, he remembers throwing up the morning of his show, and Harry being there, telling him that he used to puke before shows, and sometimes still did. It sort of makes Louis want to cry thinking about, but he doesn’t quite understand why.

He’s laughing at something Zayn just said when his phone rings, Liam’s name popping up.

“Sorry lads, got to take this.” he says, slipping out of his seat. Thankfully, they’re still early and the show hasn’t started yet.

“Hello?” he says, once he’s away from everybody.

“Louis, get backstage now. We just overheard Nick on the phone with one of his friends. They’re going to blow up the runway, Lou.”

Blow up. The runway. That Harry is going to be on. In about five minutes.

“I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Well, don’t be. Get backstage, and stop Harry from getting on that runway. It’s already set up, so it’s going to be exploding whether or not he’s on it. Which he better not be. Or else, you know,”

“Why do they have against Harry? What has he done?” Louis asks, weaving his way through people to get backstage. Apparently every single person in London is at this event, because it’s taking too damn long.

“Zayn was right, they’re trying to make a point about animal cruelty. I guess they’re trying to say that if we can kill animals for fashion, why can’t they kill humans?”

It occurs to Louis for the first time that Harry will be killed if he’s blown up. Oh god, he really is going to be sick.

“That’s disgusting.” someone says, watching him.

He wipes his mouth, and continues on his way. There are janitors for that, he thinks.

“Louis, are you okay? You need to get there now,”

“I’m fine, Li.” he says, and hangs up. He does not have time for that.

“Sir! Do you have a backstage pass?” a security guard asks once he reaches the door.

“Oh, I do not have time for this.” Louis says, pulling out his badge.

Apparently, it’s good for more than getting tea, because the security guard just raises his eyebrows and lets him pass.

“Harry!” he shouts wildly, entering the clothing section. Harry is most likely already lined up to go on, but it can’t hurt.

He finally makes it to where the models are, and searches madly for curly hair.

“Harry? Harry!” he yells, making everyone stare. He probably looks insane right about now, but fuck it if he cares. Harry is about to be killed. Oh god, Harry is about to be killed.

“Harry, Harry? Hazza?”

“What, what?” and Harry is there, and he’s grabbing his wrists, and he’s pale, and he’s alive.

“You can’t,” Louis says, catching his breath. “You can’t go on there.”

Harry’s jaw drops in a way that would be comical if it weren’t for the situation.

“Pardon?”

“Nick Grimshaw,” Louis says, still panting. “Going to blow it up,”

“What the hell are you on about?” Harry asks, frowning.

“Harry Styles! You’re on!”

“Look, I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you after.” Harry says, letting go of his wrists.

“No! Harry, I can’t let you go on there!”

“What the fuck, Louis?” Harry says, irritated now.

“Listen to me, Harry! The runway is going to blow up. You can’t go.” Louis says.

Harry stares. And then -

“No, you listen to me. You know, I actually thought we were mates. But now you come down here yelling about Nick Grimshaw and the runway blowing up. Do you have any idea how much this show means to me? I don’t care if you’re jealous of him. You’re not sabotaging the biggest show of my career for that. I know we don’t always exactly get on, but this was way too fucking far. Mates, my ass. Goodbye, Louis.”

Louis is stunned. For a second, he can only stand there and watch as Harry turns away and begins to step on the runway, but then his reflexes are kicking in and he’s grabbing Harry and pulling him back.

“Are you fucking serious?” Harry yells, and Louis is honestly afraid for a moment before a small distraction occurs in the form of the runway exploding.

People begin screaming and running around madly, but Harry just stares at Louis, mouth wide open.

“You, and, the runway, how,” he stutters.

“Er. I might not be a model, exactly.” Louis says. “May work for the MI-5.”

There is a small pause, and then Harry punches him in the face.

“Fuck!” Louis swears, grimacing and clutching his face.

“You absolute twat!” Harry yells. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Um. Kind of goes with the whole “secret agent” thing, to be fair.” Louis says, still recovering from the shock.

“Oh,” Harry says, looking a bit regretful now. “Are you alright?”

“I’ll live, I suppose. Nothing a bit of ice won’t fix.” Louis lies. Seriously, does Harry box on a regular basis or something? That hurt like hell.

“We should probably get out of here,” Harry says.

“Right. Should probably call Liam, now that you mention it.” Louis says, pulling out his phone.

“Who the hell is Liam, anyway?”

“Shh, Styles. I’m on the phone.” So Louis likes making Harry jealous. Sue him.

“Louis?”

“Hiya, mate.”

“Oh my god Louis, are you alright?”

“Could be better.” Louis replies, narrowing his eyes at Harry and holding his cheek. Harry mouths “sorry” at him, but he’s smiling. That little shit. “What about Nick?”

“He’s with me. I came down there as soon as I overheard the conversation.”

Louis breathes a sigh of relief.

“Was anyone else hurt?” he asks suddenly, thinking of Zayn and Niall.

“No, thankfully. The explosion wasn’t big enough, the runway was too far away.”

“Thank god. Then we’re alright then? We did alright?”

“Yeah, Lou. You did alright.”

Louis’ face is killing him, and Harry is watching him weirdly, and tons of people were so close to being hurt, or killed, but still can’t help the tiny smile that grows on his face at Liam’s words.

*

“So, secret agent.”

“A bit, yeah.”

“That’s kind of wicked, actually.” Zayn says.

“Yeah, it’s brilliant. You’re like James Bond.” Niall agrees.

“Kind of, yeah.” Louis says, grinning. Modesty has never been his strong point.

“Not kind of, you totally are.” Liam says, smiling at him. Louis blames Liam for his vanity, honestly.

“To be honest, I thought you were a pretty good model.” Zayn says.

“Yeah right mate, I’m way too short.”

Harry frowns, looking away from the FIFA game for a moment to look at him. After Nick had been arrested, they had all gone to Niall’s hotel room to play some video games. Because that’s what you do after having a near death experience, obviously. Liam had fit in right away, talking to Zayn about some comic book Louis had no clue about.

“You’re not that short, though. Plus, height hardly matters that much, anymore.” Harry says.

“Goal! Suck my dick, Harry!” Niall shouts, waving his controller around madly.

“Rather not, but thanks.”

“He’s too busy sucking Lou _eh_ s.” Zayn says, snickering.

Liam snorts out a laugh, high fiving Zayn.

“Whatever.” says Louis, fixing his fringe.

Harry just laughs, tucking his head into Louis’ neck. He can feel Harry’s hot breath on his neck, and it’s more distracting than it should be. He wraps an arm around Harry’s shoulders, tucking him in close. Liam gives him a knowing look, and Louis wants to shout at him how Harry almost died today, but he resists.

“Hi,” Harry says quietly, grinning up at him.

“Hi, yourself.” he replies, looking down.

“Thanks for saving my life today.” mumbles Harry.

Louis grins. “I do what I can, you know.”

“Oi! Lovebirds!” Niall says, breaking them out of the moment. “Are you staying here tonight?”

“I suppose, yeah.” says Louis.

“Same,” says Harry, looking at Louis.

Louis deliberately keeps his eyes away from Harry’s direction, trying not to do something stupid like blush.

*

“This game is rubbish,” Harry says, down 3 - nil against Louis.

“Or maybe you’re just rubbish.” Louis retorts, sticking his tongue out.

Harry pretends to look offended for a second, and then he’s smiling and sticking his tongue out back at Louis.

“Right, lads, it’s been great fun, but I’m off to bed now.” Niall says, pulling off his shirt and climbing into bed where Zayn and Liam are already asleep beside each other.

Harry and Louis both bid him goodnight, and continue their game, never taking their eyes off the screen.

“Hmmph.” Louis hears Zayn groan. “What’re you doing?”

“Shove over,” Niall whispers, still loud enough that Louis can hear.

“Go sleep in the other bed.” Zayn replies.

“With Louis and Harry? No way mate, there aren’t enough chicken nuggets in the world to make me share a bed with those two. Who knows what they’re getting up to tonight.”

Zayn doesn’t reply, so Louis assumes he’s fallen back asleep. He doesn’t dare looking at Harry, hoping instead he hadn’t heard a thing.

After a few more games, Louis is exhausted. “I’m exhausted.”

“Me, too. Ready for bed, then?” says Harry.

“Sounds brilliant.” he replies.

He had almost forgot Harry slept with no clothes on, until he starts taking off his trousers. It’s definitely unfair how fit Harry is. It’s almost unnatural.

He crawls under the covers, facing away from Harry to hide his blush. They lay in the darkness for a few minutes until -

“Louis?” Harry whispers.

“Yeah?”

“Can you believe Nick Grimshaw tried to kill me?” Harry says.

"Uh, yeah. Knew it all along." Louis replies.

"If you knew it all along, why didn't you warn me earlier?" asks Harry.

"Okay, maybe it was more suspect than know, but I suspected him all along. Liam just reckoned I was jealous, though."

"Oh," Harry says, and they're quiet for a bit longer. Just when Louis starts to hate himself for bringing up that Liam thought he was jealous, Harry talks.

"Louis?" he whispers.

"Yeah?" replies Louis.

"Turn 'round." answers Harry.

“Why?” asks Louis.

“Just do it.”

Louis guesses that’s reason enough.

“Hi,” he says, smiling at Harry. Their faces are so close, he has to fight the urge to swoon.

They smile at each other for a moment, and then Harry is leaning in, and,

Their noses bump.

“Oops,” Harry says, giggling.

Louis pretends to be exasperated by rolling his eyes, but really he’s just fond.

This time, he leans in, and then their lips are touching. They’re kissing, and they’re sober, and Harry didn’t die, and Nick is in jail somewhere, probably, and things are pretty good right now.

So when they finally break apart and smile at each other, Louis doesn’t bother hiding the enormous grin on his face. He doesn’t know how long they lay there, grinning at each other in the dark, but in his mind they stay like that all night, just smiling at each other until morning.


End file.
